Peter was listening, and at some point had the idea in the back of his mind that 'physical discomfort' was seriously a thing among everyone because kneeling that perfectly for hours on end seemed really painful (though, his mind pointed out, he'd seen JC do something similar, then he had to push that out soooo fast because he didn't want those two things to combine in his head), but in reality? He was having a crisis of his own.
Was Mindy right? That he was different, despite the fact Simon had never had a relationship? Could that really be true?? Simon ... he didn't date anyone? Ever? Get settled into something? Or was it all because of this? He knew Simon was a great guy and a better friend - he would have said that to anyone long before tonight - but Simon... didn't seem the settling down type. Hadn't he been so worried earlier, though?
What if he wanted more from Simon than Simon was willing to give? What if Simon only wanted... this? What if he didn't want to have something beyond that? Hearing Mindy and Caleb talk about it, the idea filled him with dread. He couldn't do that.
But what if he fell harder than he already was... and he wasn't what Simon wanted, either? It would hurt both of them. At least he wasn't someone so blind or foolish as to just do this to make Simon happy, because he wouldn't be and in turn Simon wouldn't be either. He tried to read Simon a few times but that expressionless face didn't help his fears.
When the demonstration was over, Peter knew two things. One, they needed to talk when they went home and they needed to talk seriously, and two, they needed to figure out what they wanted from each other. If it didn't matched up...
Could he do it? Stay with the Twelve, forever watching Simon, knowing that Simon would find other people and continue to do this and his hopes had to be stopped? He would leave before Simon, though he had no desire to in any way, but JC and his ideals were everything to Simon. A reason to fight.
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Was Mindy right? That he was different, despite the fact Simon had never had a relationship? Could that really be true?? Simon ... he didn't date anyone? Ever? Get settled into something? Or was it all because of this? He knew Simon was a great guy and a better friend - he would have said that to anyone long before tonight - but Simon... didn't seem the settling down type. Hadn't he been so worried earlier, though?
What if he wanted more from Simon than Simon was willing to give? What if Simon only wanted... this? What if he didn't want to have something beyond that? Hearing Mindy and Caleb talk about it, the idea filled him with dread. He couldn't do that.
But what if he fell harder than he already was... and he wasn't what Simon wanted, either? It would hurt both of them. At least he wasn't someone so blind or foolish as to just do this to make Simon happy, because he wouldn't be and in turn Simon wouldn't be either. He tried to read Simon a few times but that expressionless face didn't help his fears.
When the demonstration was over, Peter knew two things. One, they needed to talk when they went home and they needed to talk seriously, and two, they needed to figure out what they wanted from each other. If it didn't matched up...
Could he do it? Stay with the Twelve, forever watching Simon, knowing that Simon would find other people and continue to do this and his hopes had to be stopped? He would leave before Simon, though he had no desire to in any way, but JC and his ideals were everything to Simon. A reason to fight.