"Then why are you trying to walk away when I'm trying to tell you how I feel about it?" Oh he wasn't about to let it end there. "Are you ignoring what I'm saying because you're afraid? Of me getting hurt, you getting hurt? I don't know but... I want to try this." He made a circular gesture. "All of this. With you. If I have to go back to those lessons at the club on my own to learn, then I will."

"But."

He took a breath, fingers flexing. "You want terms? Negotiations? Then I need to know I'm not going to get punished for everything because I don't know it. But if you teach me something, and I still do it wrong? Then I'll accept whatever it is. I don't want to feel afraid or stupid because I'm so new to this. We figure out a way that I can signal I'm not happy with something when we're in public. I want to keep this between us-- or at least not with the Twelve or JC or the whole world finding out. If that takes texting to ask you for things, then sure. I can do that."

His fingers were gripping each other so tightly they almost hurt, knuckles white.