forallyoucare | (no subject)

(no subject)

JC wasn’t sure when the voices started. They popped up here or there in his childhood, usually egging him on to do something dangerous. His mum use to say that he was playing with an imaginary friend, but the voice was never a solid thing to run down to the corner shop with or to throw sticks in the river with when the other boys in the neighborhood thought he was too weird or creepy to hang around with. The voice never stuck around either so JC couldn’t exactly blame it. And he sounded mad when he did.

After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.

But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.

All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.

That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was new to him. Not new in the sense of a new pair of lips to taste, or having someone so fresh against him. This was something better. Oh so much better. He did really enjoy Peter, as a person. It was better than with Judas, who knew more about him than most, probably because this was so much more tenuous.

Peter made him think in poetry.

He liked it. He liked it enough to grin as he drew back, lifting his weight to pull a leg beneath him so he could kiss Peter again. with more leverage.

Hopefully Peter would understand now that Simon was willing to go slow with this. Yeah. He meant that much.

This... this he could get into. Simon felt so different compared to the people he had tried in the past - girls, to start, to make his parents happy, boys, eventually, when he started to realize what he was. Simon felt stronger, compact, sturdy under his hands as his hands came up and his palms smoothed over the muscular back. He hesitated on pushing for more, given how very much Simon liked to be in control of it, but he wasn't sure where the boundaries lied with any of that, even if they agreed to this. Could he never push again? Or did he have to ask? Try to remember those for later, Peter.

Instead, he let out a pleased little sigh against Simon's lips, arching his back slightly in an encouraging way to press their chests together. How far would Simon go tonight? ...Would he enjoy it if they went further if it wasn't tinged yet with his lifestyle, or was that just too boring for him?

Simon was a gentleman. He was not entirely religious, not in the way that Judas sort of bucked the whole god thing, but in a more agnostic sort of way, and though he definitely didn't have a way for marriage sort of mindset, he liked to stretch it out. Especially when it was supposed to matter and they were not near enough done with talking.

Tonight was sort of a learning curve for them both and in all glorious honesty, Peter could probably get away with murder right now with how he made Simon feel. Like he was too full. Like he wanted to scream, but in a really good way. And none of that made sense.

So when he pulled back, he was laughing, a sort of pleased, pleasant, laugh, like he'd just figured something out that had been bothering him for a long time now.

"Wow. I'm... I'm going to take you home-- Not because you did anything wrong but because-- I just want to take it slow with you. And I won't. If you stay."

The laugh pulled a smile to his lips, feeling it in Simon's chest against his until the other pulled away. He looked into those bright eyes, then blinked in surprise. ...Could he make that choice, right now? What would Simon think? Ask questions... the sub controlled their body, right? His fingers tightened on Simon, not wanting to let him go.

"...and if I stay?" His voice was a little lower, quiet, just between them as he watched Simon's expression carefully. Just how far would Simon go tonight if he stayed? What games did Simon want to play?

It was a surprise for himself to realize he wanted to find out.

"You're not staying," Simon said firmly. "But I'll come by for breakfast." He wasn't too good at this give and take aspect of a relationship. Not when there was the promise of something more beneath it. He couldn't help but put his foot down, however, and down it went, complete with the rest of his body too as he pulled himself, and Peter, off of the couch. "I'll bring something. I've seen how James and John keep their stove."

No wonder Judas tended not to venture out of the basement that often. Too many guys and their personal hygiene just faltered over a sense of laziness.

"Don't make me fireman carry you out."

He couldn't help itself; it hurt. His expression spoke volumes, like being slapped across the face. All of that and then... this. A figurative bucket of cold water to the face. Peter licked his lips once before he shook his head. "...I'll manage breakfast." There was no hiding that tone in his voice and Simon knew he could have a bit of a temper sometimes. Maybe some of the Scottish in him.

He stood up, going to grab his bag. Fine. Sure. It would give him time to think this over. It told him volumes if Simon couldn't even go a single night without things going /that/ way.

Simon watched him, watched his face, and followed Peter to the door with a smirk before he reached out to grab his arm.

"Tell me the exact reason why you're mad," he said with a light but still commanding voice. Did he ask? No. Simon never asked when he wanted results. "And be specific."

This ought to be interesting. He wanted Peter to really think about his anger here.

Peter looked back to Simon, frowning. He was hurt - but okay yeah he was angry, too. "You do that-" a flick of a finger towards his lips, "and the spanking and just- cut it off!" Damn it he might be new to this but he was still a dude and parts of him were less than happy about this situation!

"So you're mad because I want to wait to have sex with you." Just a statement. Not accusatory at all. "Can't a guy these days want to actually do things the old fashioned way and court a guy." He leaned against the door on his elbow. His eyes focused intently on Peter, watching his face with a pleased little chuckle at the way he was so exasperated.

So cute. He didn't let himself touch him.

"I'm tired of one night stands, Petey. You're worth the slow burn."

Oh no, Peter wasn't going to let that slide. He pointed a finger at Simon and flatly said, "I'm mad because you're a tease, and you know it." Being left aroused and curious was not exactly what he intended, but Simon was going to bring it on him anyway.

Still, he sighed. The frown he gave Simon was a touch insulted. "...I didn't plan on being a one night stand, you know." But he shifted the bag up to his shoulder. "I still don't." He wanted to touch Simon again, he wanted to know that he wasn't just being thrown out because that was what it felt like despite Simon's words, but he was doing everything in his power to keep those thoughts packed down tight.

"Will you let me come by for breakfast then?" It was funny how people reacted. Some found it charming when he was trying to be a gentleman about this stuff but some people really thought he was playing them. Peter was obviously the latter. Maybe his lack of experience had plucked up some of his hormones. But that wasn't a bad thing at all. Simon just wasn't prepared to push. Not tonight. Not when everything had gone so extraordinarily well.

He set his hand on the wall by Peter's head. His eyebrows lifted and he half smiled at the younger man.

"Or are you giving me an ultimatum, Petey? Sex tonight or that's it?" He'd told him that his will wasn't completely disregarded. He just wanted the control of it. "If you really want me to fuck you, I will."

That earned Simon a bit more of a frown. "Not Petey, not when it's serious," he said quietly, but he shook his head. "It's not that. I just- I don't get you at all. Not a little bit. I'm trying, you know?" He looked hard into Simon's eyes, though his voice was soft. "I want... at least some of this to be natural! You get me hyped up, interested, then turn me down flat. That's what the ladies do, not blokes!"

He rolled his eyes a little. "Of course you can come by for breakfast." It wasn't 'playing him', not exactly, but playing with him, yes. "I didn't come into tonight thinking sex was going to be a thing - not until you started with.. that." A gesture towards the couch, but if he meant the spanking or the kissing, he wasn't saying.

"Not Petey when serious," Simon agreed. Pete. Peter. This was a boy trying to grow up. He couldn't blame him. He had done a lot of growing up today. "People make out all the time without-- I'm sorry for teasing you and leading you on. I hadn't even planned to touch you at all tonight."

What did that say about his control? Obviously, with Peter, it was a lack there of. He tried but he could only try so much.

"Do you want me not to kiss you again?" Okay, that was a tease. He even waggled his eyebrows a little. "You can't blame me if I explode from desire every time we speak though." And that was a tease too. He wasn't trying to be cruel but he also planned on keeping his hands outside for awhile.

"People don't usually make out then just go cold turkey like that," Peter pointed out in return, but his expression softened as the teasing returned. He gave a little smirk, his fingers creeping out and grasping Simon's shirt, holding to the edges of it. "I didn't say I didn't want you to make out with me again." Trying to sound a little coy, not sure if he was succeeding, but there was something intoxicating about the idea that he might get Simon off of the pedestal, even if just a little bit, that the others in the club seemed to have him on. (That he himself did, no lie.)

He leaned forward and nosed the edge of Simon's jaw just a little.

"Don't they?" Peter was fresh and new, barely touched and adorable in ways he couldn't claim to have ever known before. Simon couldn't blame the magnetism on his own libido, he couldn't blame it on lack of sex either. Peter satisfied more than just physically, although the breath on his ear as he nuzzled against him did really bad things to his resolve.

Pinning Peter between himself and the doorjam, Simon offered his lips again. Slowly. He wasn't going to let himself go overboard here. This wasn't about release or an itch to scratch. He genuinely liked Peter.

That was the whole problem. It meant monitoring himself.

Peter gave a soft, pleased noise under his breath and slid his arms around Simon, taking in this moment eagerly. He had wanted Simon for a while now, in every way, and if he was going to be involved in everything Simon was, he knew, he had to be a part of all of it. Even the things he still felt confused and uncertain about, even this sort of rapid-fire change. Now he didn't feel so bad about pushing back, at least a little, so it calmed something in him that threatened to get more upset.

Simon wouldn't let him get hurt. Drive him insane seemed to be okay, but not hurt. Peter hoped that meant from Simon himself as well.

He itched to let his hands slide down lower, and they did creep a little bit, to the top of Simon's pants, but he acted like the good boy he was and kept them there. There was only the faintest hesitation before he gently pulled Simon's lower lip with both of his, pulling his head back just slightly to open his eyes and see Simon's face. It almost felt like this was a dream, after all this time.

At least Peter wasn't raising his Scottish dander up anymore. Simon set a hand on Peter's waist and as he pulled back, did the same to let cool air circulate between them.

"Tell you what. How about I stay at your place tonight?"

Because there were people there, they couldn't get up to anything serious. Peter himself wouldn't let that happen since he was all for being hush hush about their budding relationship.

"I'll just want to take a shower first to wash whatever accidental glitter I've attracted at the club off."

Peter's brows show up with that, a slight swallowing echoing between them, before he said quietly, "...I don't know what you're planning, but if you come home with me tonight instead of staying in your otherwise unoccupied apartment, I am going to say you're trying to kill me." Having Simon there with him, in one sense, sounded wonderful, but it was all too easy for the others to hear them if they got up to anything and given their conversation a minute ago, Simon had to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not realize that Peter was eager tonight!

But he did give Simon a bit of a flat look at that. "As if the others wouldn't start guessing if I suddenly brought you home." It wasn't that he wanted to keep it secret! ...Only... certain parts of it, if it went that route.

"I'm trying to teach you restraint. And meet you half way," Simon laughed. He even folded his arms over his chest as if to prove that he had more of that restraint than did Peter and could indeed use this for a lesson. "I can hold you without making anyone suspect. Or I have a wide selection of gags if you get really nervous."

Owning more than one probably was overkill. And he did rarely use them. Socks and underwear worked just as well after all and it was one less thing to clean.

"Ball's in your court, Petey." He figured he could say that again without being scolded.

A bit of a choke on the 'selection of gags' thing, flushing despite himself. Damn it, Simon was too good at tripping him up. "I've been restraining myself for a long time," he muttered, then shook his head a little. "Not tonight. I've got a lot to think about and laying there with you and horny isn't going to help anything."

He gave a little smile, just the corner of his mouth. Simon had given him more than enough to think on tonight and if he was really determined they weren't doing anything tonight, then fine. He could go home and calm down and think it over. Figure out what his... boundaries were, he guessed, but as the spanking demonstration taught him, he wasn't sure he knew where those were any more.

"I'm going to call you a cab. Or I might insist on coming in for a night cap." It felt good to make silly innuendos. He'd never really done that before. It was always a sort of me-you-bathroom-stall sort of deal with Simon. But this? Wow. This was just so nice.

He dialed up a uber and sent Peter home with a kiss -- and an arse feel up -- before he went back inside for that shower.

He was in a fantastic mood, especially when he pulled up bright and early for breakfast and grinned at James when he answered the door. "I brought donuts!"

Peter ended up taking a shower when he got home, something he needed very badly after Simon's teasings that night, but spent a long time getting to bed. His mind kept playing the night over and over, thinking about what he saw at the club, about Simon's protectiveness, the crack of hand against his backside, and the feeling of Simon's lips against his. What was he going to say to Simon in the morning? How did he make borders he felt safe in when Simon wanted to push them?

It haunted him until he passed out, and in a rare show, when Simon came, he was actually still asleep. So James answered the door with a yawn, John sprawled on the sofa in the living room behind him, and looked surprised to see Simon. "...Hey. Donuts are good but why are you here so early?" He still stepped aside to let their friend in, yawning into his hand. Neither looked like they were ready to go out just yet.

"Because some people like to live a full day and see the sunshine," Simon said, lightly tapping James on the chest with the back of his hand. "Peter up yet?"

James yawned and shrugged. "No idea. Probably. Got another hour or two before we gotta show up at the garage. JC's downstairs anyway," he said, following Simon to the kitchen to pick over the donuts, but only after Simon rescued Peter's favourite and set it aside.

He managed not to raise an eyebrow at JC being downstairs in the studio apartment where Judas lived. It didn't mean anything. JC did whatever he wanted and the two were attached at the hip anyway. Still, he'd ask Judas about it later. "Have at the rest, mate. I'm going to wake Pete up." James didn't think anything of that either, snatching two jelly donuts before he went to sit on John's legs.

Simon creeped down the hall, cursing when the door squeaked as he opened it, and peeked inside the dark room where Peter laid. He sort of hoped he was naked...but he probably wasn't. No matter. He was going to crawl into bed with him anyway.

As it turned out, Peter was still dead to the world even after the creaking, his sheets tangled around him as if he hadn't slept particularly still during the night. His room was nearly spotless, which made his bed look that much worse. Peering in at him showed his legs - still in decent shape from months of backpacking - and his chest, making him maybe look nude but in reality he had boxers on in that mess of sheets. His arms were currently wrapped around the pillow he had his face buried in.

He didn't even so much as shift at the door opening, but Simon was going to have to work a little to crawl in there as it wasn't a particularly big bed and Peter was sprawled in the center of it.

Peter was also willowy and after Simon tugged off his boots, he sort of gently folded Peter over onto himself and slipped into bed behind him. One strong and well muscled arm moved to embrace the boy and Simon breathed in the sleep warm scent of someone he did care for and wanted the chance to care even more for.

He behaved himself. His hands didn't wander. He held Peter loosely without forcing him to stay if he should happen to wake and need to be up suddenly.

It was such a long time since he'd gotten anyone in bed with him that didn't immediately leave and so Simon savored the novelty.