forallyoucare | (no subject)

(no subject)

JC wasn’t sure when the voices started. They popped up here or there in his childhood, usually egging him on to do something dangerous. His mum use to say that he was playing with an imaginary friend, but the voice was never a solid thing to run down to the corner shop with or to throw sticks in the river with when the other boys in the neighborhood thought he was too weird or creepy to hang around with. The voice never stuck around either so JC couldn’t exactly blame it. And he sounded mad when he did.

After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.

But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.

All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.

That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”

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"You came in wearing neon pink and purple plaid," Mindy laughed. "Trust me. You'll love these. And he picked them out. Sometimes there better than what you'd chose for yourself, you know? Just try them. That's what dressing rooms are for." She wasn't leaving. She wasn't even turning away except to fold back up those tiny little shorts.

It was only after Peter got himself into the comfortably stretchy material that she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. The look In her eye, in the mirror, was almost conspiratorial.

"Do you fancy him? Because it looks to me like you do. And you looked amazing at his feet. Shh, don't say I said that. I'm not supposed to interfere," she grinned and pulled back.

"I know, I know, I suppose I never thought of purple pants, though. I'm usually a jeans person, you know?" He rubbed his neck, but he did - tush to Mindy - wriggle out of the shorts and went to try on the pants. Simon did pick them out, so many he really wanted to see how they looked? Besides he was supposed to be going with Simon's suggestions for the club wear, so sure.

They were surprisingly comfortable and he admired them when Mindy whispered that in his ear. His eyes went wide, then everything right to his ears went as red as could be. He briefly realized he'd probably blushed more today than in the past year combined before he choked a little. "I- I'm nay-" Oh god where did he even start?! His accent all but flooded his words in his fumbling. "He isn't interested in that sort of thing- with me. I don't want to be discussing this!" He could die later at the fact he squeaked there, feeling overwhelmed. Simon hadn't mentioned anything to do with that 'community' about tonight, but Mindy was obsessed with it!

Somehow, during the outburst, she managed to get the shirt Simon picked out over Peter's head and was in the middle of zipping up the back with the tight collar in place when the other man came barging in. "If he doesn't like something, don't force--"

The words died in his mouth before they could spill off of his tongue and he gazed at Peter from behind and then at his reflection in the mirror for a long time. He noted the blushing and noted how Mindy was ignoring the whole thing before he lightly brushed passed her to buckle the back of the collar himself.

"Do you really not like it?" he asked, the tight black shirt over the dark purple pants going very well together. He almost let himself put his hands on his thighs-- But maybe later. He had to be better at denying himself to prepare for Peter brushing him off. "I think it's the perfect sort of honey to catch flies tonight, if you're into that."

Whatever he was thinking? Gone. Out the window. Instead his mind focused entirely on those warm hands at the back of his neck, the low voice right behind him. A shiver went straight down his spine and he realized if he didn't get his mind off that he was going to have to deal with something very awkward with two people in a dressing room. Simon had looked him over in a way he'd never seen the other look at him before and he didn't know fully what to make of it other than approval.

There's only one sort of fly I want to catch tonight, Peter thought, but he knew. He knew Simon had never shown a lick of interest in him and now he was starting to get the feeling of why. Simon was into... this. This world Peter knew absolutely nothing about. Then why did he make out with Judas- Was Judas into this, too? He didn't want to think about that right now, but now the idea was in his head.

"...I- asked you for help, didn't I?" he said slowly, trying to make up for that long pause. "If you think it looks good... I'll go with this."

"Good." Simon patted Peter on the shoulder, breath warm against the slightly longer than usual hair curling around his ears. "Mindy, we'll take these and the boots," he said, holding the door for her so that they could let Peter get changed in private. It wasn't like Simon expected him to get dinner in a tight shirt and pants like that.

And he didn't know about Peter, but he needed a shower anyway before getting dressed.

When the youngest of the Twelve ventured out from the back, Simon was waiting with an empty bag, already paid up and just waiting for Peter to drop the garments inside. "Thanks so much guys. See you tonight? And so good meeting you, Peter. Don't be a stranger!"

"You'll see us tonight. And thank you," he said with emphasis before he guided Peter out of the store, hand briefly on his back. "So hey. Where to for dinner? Wanna go out or get take away and eat at my place?"

"Wait- I didn't-" Realization. "Simon you didn't have to pay for that!" He didn't need to worry about money, had no idea if Simon did or not. "At least- ah, thank you, Mindy!" Didn't want to be rude!

oh did Simon just invite him back to his place? No one was really sure where Simon lived so it was seriously tempting. "At least let me buy you dinner? Wherever you want to go."

He couldn't imagine - okay he could - how much that just all cost so he wanted badly to make up for it.

Simon liked the control. He wasn't sure how to tell Peter that without coming off like an asshole so he agreed to dinner. "How about a nice Chinese?" They could call on the Way to the bike and it would be ready and waiting for them when they got there.

It was a good thing he had saddlebags or there would be an issue with Peter hanging on.

A new outfit and some take away secure, Simon took them to one of the nicer parts of town. He was prepared for Peter to have a mini freak out at the place.

Peter assumed, at first, that they were just going through this part of town, but when Simon pulled up in front of a very nice looking building, with a doorman and everything, he was clearly confused. "Why are we stopping here?" he asked, but grew even more confused when Simon got off and went for the saddlebags. He looked to Simon, then the building, then back again before saying, "you LIVE here!?"

That might have been repeated when they walked in the door and Peter got a look at the place.

"You.... LIVE here?" No way. Simon had to be faking this somehow or... but... even his parents probably couldn't have afforded a place like this. It was beautiful, elegant... a lot of expensive he wouldn't have thought to put with Simon who fought the establishment.

And he was barely even in the door.

"Just until we leave. I'm flat sitting," he explained without going into too much in depth about it. Keys and wallet on the kitchen counter, Simon put the bags on the sofa and went to grab some plates from the elegant, backlit full glass cabinets. He normally just used paper since he hated cleaning up, but Peter was a fancy sort of bloke and Simon was trying to prove his worth and his ability to care for the younger man. Real silverware it was too. "Been at it for a little over a year now. The owner's rarely in town so he lets me stay if I feed the cat and water the plants. You can take a look around. I'll put out dinner."

Simon's bedroom might have been the smallest but it was still incredibly nice. There were posters on the wall, a nice television and a closet overflowing with clothing. One of the bathrooms had an amazing tub. There was a jacuzzi on the balcony. The couch was made out of leather-- Poor Peter. It was all right to be flabbergasted.

When he returned, Simon had made up two plates of food, poured some wine, and set the table with some cloth napkins. He'd taken off his leather coat and was just lounging back against the ornate wood, watching Peter approach with bright eyes.

Peter ended up making friends with the cat, crooning to her softly until she came over and when he returned, he looked somewhat dazzled and had an armful of cat, slowly petting her head with the other hand. "This place is incredible," he said quietly as he came back into the dining room, then paused when he saw the spread.

He wasn't blind to the effort. "You didn't have to do all this," he murmured, but his eyes showed that he was honored by it. Kneeling down and letting the feline go, he came over and took the other set spot, feeling... happy. Really happy. Even with all the embarasment of earlier, he still felt really good about this.

Until he questioned all the reasons behind this stuff again. Like what Simon wanted. Why he was doing this. Why Judas. Why... any of this.

"I'm not doing much of anything," Simon said, which was just a smidge of a lie. He never cared enough to do this for anyone else after all. Judas didn't get this. The random person he brought home didn't get this. He hadn't tried to wine and dine anyone ever... Unless it was part of the gig he was hired for.

Unfortunately, he couldn't hear any of Peter's questions either. He couldn't explain that Judas was just sex and a bit of fun. Or that he really wanted Peter to be impressed. And comfortable. He wanted to put himself out there as a provider. Simon hadnt really trained anyone like this. He didn't have the relationship Mindy and Mitch had. He honestly wasn't even sure how to go about it but he'd been pining for Peter for as long as he'd known him.

"But if it means you'll keep smiling like this, I'm not going to stop either. You're the sunshine in the group. You know that right "

"No way. JC has that spot all to himself." Peter spotted the wine and decided he definitely was going to need a glass at some point to steady his nerves, but right now his stomach urged him to reach out like he would have at any of the group dinners and start serving - but to Simon first. That was simple politeness kicking in, usually serving his parents or JC first.

"Not sure anyone can be considered the sunshine against his sun." It wasn't angry or upset or even jealous, just a truth to him. JC was something incredible, something that felt beyond him sometimes and completely down to earth at others. It made him want to follow JC to the ends of the earth, the end of this journey they were going to go on now even if it meant giving up so much.

"Sorry, mate. Not sure if I agree with you there. He's got a magnetism and power and all the glory but sunshine is all you." Simon watched as Peter transferred food out of the expensive bowls he'd dumped the take away into and onto his plate. Okay. How could not like that? He'd not asked for or waited for Peter to do it. He just did. That didn't make him sub material or make him even want to be one but damn. Peter was just so... Perfect.

Simon watched him for a few moments before he leaned in over the now loaded plate.

"But all right. Let's say that JC is our sun. You still shine more brightly to me. All it takes is a smile from you and my day is made." Maybe he was going a little overboard here but it was the truth. No one could calm him down like JC. No one could make him feel more accepted than JC. But Peter made him happy.

Just knowing he was there.

"You'll just have to suck it up and keep doing what you're doing. You're important to all of us."

Peter ended up gaping at Simon after those comments, like his breath had been taken away. His lips slowly closed with a wet sound, a swallow, trying to find words. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, made him feel quite this way. JC made him feel included, stronger, like he could do something more with his life, but Simon...

Simon made him feel wanted in a way he couldn't pin down. Not just a sexual thing but he went out of his way to make sure he was included when they made plans, even when he was out of his league, came to talk to him before he left each day, and that look right now...

"Then I will," he said quietly, his gaze dropping to his plate, then quickly started to ramble in his nervousness. "You are, too, you know? You're the one who has all the fire inside of him. Who keeps us all fighting. We need that. ...I need that, too. I don't know if I'd have the courage to do any of this without you. Nevermind that I probably be brain dead or worse."

"Hey. Anyone would have helped. I was just in the right place at the right time." He liked being Peter's hero though. He really liked how, all this time later, it still made him important in this kid's life. He felt good being responsible for him. He felt really good being there for him too. Simon just smiled and shoved some noodles into his mouth. "And besides. You're here with us now so job well done, me."

He lifted his glass in salute to the other man and took a sip.

"You gotta start giving yourself more credit here, Petey. It's not me that gives you any courage. And I'm not the one that put the fight in me either. Our boss man did a number for both of us there. Are you excited about this next leg?"

"You're full of bull if you think just anyone would have broken it up." Briefly, he was serious, and the look in his eyes showed that. Only Simon had looked towards his cries of pain and managed to get the thug off him who had taken advantage of how wasted he was that night. He couldn't remember well about how it started, some damage had been done after all by the time Simon had found him, but he wasn't sure he wanted to remember, either.

"Job well done, you." He laughed with that, dissolving the brief seriousness, and decided that sip of wine looked like a very good idea and matched it himself.

"...JC was the one that got you fighting?" That actually brought a bit of confusion to Peter, who hadn't known Simon before - no one but Judas did - but he couldn't imagine Simon has anything but a fighter, one way or the other. "But, yeah! I'm really excited! I want to see more places, more people, make their lives better... see if we actually can make a difference."

"I used to just fight myself, or other people. I didn't have a cause. I didn't know I could have one. Not until he found me." Maybe they was vague but Simon didn't just talk about himself. Judas, John and James were the only people who knew anything about him. They use to joke that he was the J-Break, five Js and an S. Silly stuff, but there weren't any more J names after him.

The food was good. The company was better. They talked for awhile about the cause, about helping people, but as the time on his phone reminded him it was just after seven, Simon told Peter to relax or poke around or use one of the other bathrooms if he needed a shower because that was where Simon was headed. He took... He took a really long time. There's Something About Mary reminded him to jerk off before tonight so he did. Slow. Peter was on his mind as the water dissolved the product in his hair. He'd return to his bedroom in a towel and glasses, hair hanging in his face.

It might be the least put together he'd been in front of Peter before.

Peter did end up taking a shower, but he didn't take very long. Instead, he felt keyed up, almost like he was vibrating, bouncing on his toes as he dried out his hair and positioned it just so so it would dry properly. Getting into those pants proved to be more difficult than expected when he was damp but a tiny bit of digging in the ridiculously oversized bathroom came up with baby powder in the closet so he used it as a bit of a cheat, getting himself into it.

The back zip and buckle he couldn't exactly do so he left the shirt off and brought it with him along with the boots, folding up everything and leaving his old clothes in the bag. Since Simon still wasn't around, he poured himself another glass of wine, drinking it slowly while he checked out Simon's room without disturbing anything. The posters, the massive amount of clothing, the little things that made up Simon's life he never got to see. So many questions... He made himself comfortable on Simon's bed, popping on the television and relaxing while he wanted.

When the door to the bathroom opened and he looked up, he wasn't sure if his mouth went dry or he was going to drool. It was.. wow. Simon looked incredible like that.

A shirtless Peter on his bed, in his bed, made all of that time in the shower a waste. Simon sighed, disgruntled with himself, but couldn't help but take note of the way Peter looked at him. He had never been blind to it. That wasn't most of the problem. He was just so sure that he was stuck never getting to have what he wanted for fear of hurting it.

There was a juxtaposition here. Sweet Peter and Peter in those vinyl pants. A little sour. A little dangerous. Simon refrained from wetting his lips and headed over to his closet instead. He had no trouble with leather pants. He had no trouble in mesh shirts either but he preferred his t-shirts and leather jackets. Tossing them over his shoulder, he fished out the smallest pair of male underwear ever and in a mark of cruelty to them both, let the towel drop to step into his dark red jock strap. The elastic snapped against his skin before he pulled on his shirt. The pants would wait until he was dry.

"How're you at eyeliner?"

If Simon ever doubted Peter was into men, that was probably laid to rest at Peter's expression that was somewhere between shock and arousal. The slide up of the knee to hide anything potentially popping up was a dead give away before Peter looked ANYWHERE BUT AT SIMON and coughed, trying to get his brain functioning again.

"Uh. Not?" Something he hadn't bothered with in the past and he had no idea how to do anything with makeup, though he'd seen some of the others with it plenty of times and didn't think much of it. His mind was still very much wrapped up on the mental image of Simon's body. That red was good against his skin...

"Trust me?" Simon used the words Mindy had earlier before he climbed into the bed, red and skin and damp hair making his particular look more than a little enticing. And like Mindy, he didn't really wait for an answer, already having snagged the eyeliner he'd gotten while waiting for Peter at the store off of the dresser, as he knelt over Peter. There was just that knee between them really. "Sit up straight and look up."

Simon had been applying eyeliner for years. To himself. To clients sometimes. He didn't mind doing it and this would let him touch Peter without being overt. They were deliciously alone in this flat and in this bed, Simon had neglected to put his pants on and Peter was without a shirt. That made their skin to clothing ratio intense Simon was already enjoying the vinyl against the inside of one of his thighs.

"You know I do-" And then Simon was on the bed. Peter started to back up when that knee came between his, sitting himself up at the same time before freezing up completely. He was kind of a little nervous about the idea of that pointy pencil anywhere near his eye, but he did trust Simon. That was kind of a force pulling at him inside leaving frozen on the spot but at least in a position that was useful for Simon to apply it.

It didn't help he was getting hard. Thankfully the position Simon was in kept him from feeling that problem. He'd have to deal with this after Simon got off him in the bathroom.

When Simon was done, Peter was almost shaking with the effort of staying completely still, but he was staring at Simon's beautiful face with a certain hunger somewhere in his eyes.

"Do you know the sort of life style I prefer to live?" Maybe he shouldn't begin this now. Not with his hands on Peter's face as he smudged the kohl around his eyes to perfect imperfection. It really brought them out, just like they did to Judas'.

Simon knew he wasn't being fair right now. He knew he was playing rotten, sitting literally on Peter to keep him still.

"Or what I need in any partner I take?"

"Uh." He didn't even know how to respond to that. Did he lie and say no, or admit he snooped? He swallowed hard, something Simon would be able to feel and hear, before whispering quietly, "I have a little bit of an idea." Mindy opened his eyes about some things, too, but he wasn't sure what to make of anything she said.

But what he didn't know how to respond to was the latter because what he might have answered didn't make sense because of Judas. Slowly he breathed out (he must have gargled because there was the faintest scent of the mouth wash in the guest room) before shaking his head, very slightly. "No." He didn't know what Simon wanted. What did Judas have in common with those... pictures?

Judas didn't have anything in common with those pictures. That's why he wasn't a partner. He was a... Well, not even a fuck buddies save that they were friends and periodically, they fucked. It wasn't even regular despite neither seeing anyone else.

Simon kept focused on Peter's left eye, applying the liner carefully to his water line. He could feel his breath on his palm and his cheek. He could almost feel the added heat from his crotch, no matter how well that leg protected it.

"I'll show you tonight, but simply put, I want someone like Mindy. Not Mindy exactly, but a pet. I'm not interested in vanilla relationships. And you-- You're worth being kept. I don't want a fling with you, Peter. I want it to mean something. You just have to know what you're agreeing to first to be with me."