Jesus Christ (
forallyoucare) wrote2017-01-10 12:08 pm
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JC wasn’t sure when the voices started. They popped up here or there in his childhood, usually egging him on to do something dangerous. His mum use to say that he was playing with an imaginary friend, but the voice was never a solid thing to run down to the corner shop with or to throw sticks in the river with when the other boys in the neighborhood thought he was too weird or creepy to hang around with. The voice never stuck around either so JC couldn’t exactly blame it. And he sounded mad when he did.
After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.
But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.
All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.
That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”
After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.
But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.
All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.
That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”
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"Let's figure out a way to keep your back from hitting the bed then," he said, gentle and teasing as if it did not occur to him that he was making a proposition. And even Judas himself might not think he was either until JC gave himself a little boost up with his toes to lightly press his mouth to Judas, perfect smile to crooked teeth.
Judas might have been able to ignore the feel of the healing done to the muscles in his back but how could he ignore the itingle of something so soft?
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JC certainly had his full attention when the kiss came. That was most certainly outside of anything JC had done, or more like let him do, in the past that Judas, a thousand times more used to this gesture than JC, actually froze. His body knew what to do, unconsciously bringing a hand up to the back of JC's head and tangling in brown strands, but his mind? That was going a thousand kilometers a second, balking awkwardly, then running again, like a small rodent panicking.
The kiss would only last a few seconds beyond that before Judas brought his head back, eyes wide, looking down at his friend. "...what...?" He didn't even have words, or more like he had a million and none of them could get out. Who was this and what had they done with JC?
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So that meant that Judas either didn't like it or hadn't been expecting it.
Even if dates usually ended up with a kiss, or more, if one partner went back to the other's place for sleep. JC sat back on his heels, hands flat on his thighs as he regarded Judas with a fragile caution.
If they were more than kissing shouldn't be a problem.
"I can try it again. Or you can show me."
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So he held up both hands. Fuck, why was he of all people put in this delicate position? Say the wrong thing and he was going to hurt JC a lot worse than the previous two days, but he wanted to get out of JC whatever the truth was or he was going to forever feel guilty for sullying something so perfect.
"Hold up." Start there. "It was fine - though uh, unexpected." So the latter of JC's two possibilities. "But there's no trying again or showing until you explain what's going on. I'm not about to do anything if this is some... some backlash from the Kickstarter dating, Judas is going to go on a date, jealousy thing. Or you think you need to do this because of what I said. Because it feels like a lot of the latter and maybe some of the former."
He was talking faster than he liked. "You've never done or let me do any of this before. Why now??"
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He hadn't moved from the floor, still looking up at Judas, eyes a little more gentle now.
"I will never be Simon." Because of course he knew. He had always known. "This could never be casual. If I jump in, it's completely. It's head first, and it's forever. But if you don't feel the same for me... Then I would like one small consideration from you. I want to be able to live the remainder of my life without regrets. And I want all of my firsts to be yours."
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Fuck him. Judas slowly slid a hand back through his dreads, gripping at them as he tried to figure out what to say. His eyes cast around his apartment and there was the slightest wince, knowing JC deserved better. "...one... step at a time," he finally said, knowing he needed to say something but failing to find the right words. Forever. Shit.
So he took a breath and tried to be... well not professional about it but more serious. Focused? Focused. "What are you looking for me, JC? Seriously. To get laid? A boyfriend? Something for the rest of our lives sort of thing? ...I'm not going to- go all the way with you tonight-" oh good now he sounded like a high schooler, "-I need better stuff to work with than this to not feel like a total scum bag about it. ...but... there's... other stuff." Oh he sounded even better.
It felt weird to sudden talk about blowjobs and fucking to JC.
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No matter what Judas said at the moment, JC would again invade his space. His hands slipped up taut thigh muscles and his lips connected again with the ginger's as he exhaled slightly against his cheek before their lips touched.
It felt a little like praying. Maybe that was a little irreligious to say, but JC had prayed enough to know what it felt like when God let his voices whisper in his ears. And this was a lot like that.
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He forced himself to focus on what was happening now, determined to make this something good for JC. So broad hands came up, cupping either side of JC's face, tilting his head slightly to make things easier and making their kiss something more than JC's uneducated attempt. To pull back, ever so slightly, and return again, more tender than he could ever remember being with anyone in his life, almost like unconsciously he was dealing with an easily-spooked animal or something fragile that could break.
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Though JC wasn't fragile, he thoroughly enjoyed such a gentle handling, collapsing onto Judas as he took every little lesson and built upon it. JC thoroughly enjoyed himself, fingers stroking down Judas' long neck and nails lightly scratching his scalp between the dreads. They kissed until his lips ached and JC found himself grinning happily down at Judas, shirt still open and one shoulder bare from the wriggling. He propped his cheek up on one palm, his smile turning more thoughtful as he contemplated what they had just done.
"Thank you," he cooed, half breathless, lips a deep coral red. "I feel... I feel like I might just burst. Is it always like this?"
JC didn't think so. And that was a shame. Human beings should spend more time just kissing each other.
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"It can be?" Judas wasn't sure 'burst' was the verb he would have used here, though definitely in other times, but maybe JC was just more inexperienced...? He let his fingers trickle over skin, taking his time and enjoying the feeling of it, wondering how he could make this better for the future. He needed some half decent condoms and lube for sure...
But some of what JC had said was almost frightening to someone like Judas who had always been so independent. 'Forever'. It occurred to him that JC sounded like a girl when he spoke but there was so much more to his words. There always was.
"Long as it feels good, that's what counts."
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He was big on eye contact at the moment and with his arm over Judas, head on his pillow, he gazed at the redhead as if he was the only person alive right now. It wasn't the first time he'd done that of course, he was good at focusing his whole being on one thing sometimes but there was a heated difference here. Lust, desire, and simple human need had brought JC down from his lofty pedestal and coloured the way he saw Judas now.
"It does feel good. I hadn't thought it was possible to have a connection this strong."
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He thought, and he would never tell JC it, that JC was just reacting strongly to finally be able to explore whatever sexuality he was. Once he got through those initial stages they all got through as teens, he would calm down. So for now, he held JC close and let him get that experience about a decade or so too late. What was his life? The thought made him smirk, squeezing with his arm.
"Why not? We've always been connected this strong." Still weird to say out loud but something he knew was true. It was that simple to him.
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"We have been," JC agreed, settling down to press his face into the crook of Judas' neck. Simon wasn't a cuddler but JC was. Judas already knew that going in and had nothing to complain about when it happened now. His eyes closed and he huffed happily against skin that still smelled of middle eastern spices and that hotel soap judas hoarded for special occasions.
There was nothing awkward in the morning, though JC was up with James and John and Peter when Judas woke up, having breakfast. That was pretty normal when JC stayed over though. He nibbled away on his bagel and grinned at Judas when he emerged to hand over coffee he'd just finished brewing before his feet could be heard on the stairs.
It would be a good day. A productive day. And the lecture that evening would go over so well that by the following morning, they'd have even more hands on deck helping out. Simon himself wasn't paying too much attention to Judas until Wednesday afternoon. He hadn't experienced butterflies in so long but going out with Peter, even as friends, to his old club was a big deal.
"What brand of liner do you use?" he asked, dropping into the seat next to Judas as they broke for lunch. He lounged in his chair, one let over the arm rest like he owned the place. "I like it. Extra smudgy."
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Coffee. Judas gave a grunt and a nod and took the coffee, plodding down to sit and get caffeine in his veins. Maybe not the most morning of peoples. Still, it woke him up and got him going for a long day ahead. He had a meeting with the plumber to discuss what they could get away with and how much it would cost - he had to find the perfect balance of 'this is too expensive' and 'makes the most sense for 12+ guys on the same bus for long periods of time' - and being the shrewd bargainer he could be.
Judas looked up from his phone, mouth full of sandwich, and quickly chewed it down before grunting. "Cheap shit from the drugstore. Basically go for whatever they have that's less than a buck. If it's a super shitty one, use the tiniest bit of oil. Makes it smudge better." He still liked his look. Really, was his answer even a surprise? "Could loan you it..." But his glance turned curious, then his lips turned up in a smirk. "Want to look good, huh?"
His eyes turned pointedly towards Peter who certainly looked absolutely beaming over the last few days. He figured something had happened between the two. Finally.
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Yeah that was a tease about the needles. Simon never felt the need to sugar coat anything with Judas. Not when they understood each other so perfectly.
A little smirk touched his lips and he followed Judas' eyeline towards where Peter was helping to hook up the sound system. It was not going well. They were hoping to use it so that JC could deliver better sermons without a bullhorn. It tended to jumble the message. Of course right now all they could get was Metallica playing whenever anyone touched the external PA system so that wasn't the best.
"I never had a kink for wardrobe control but just the idea of pouring him into leather pants is making me very unfocused."
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"We're going to end up needing that electrician to help with the sound system," Judas grumbled; it might mean more money. "None of us know how to get that shit together and it sounds worse than the bullhorn and that thing already sounds like crap." He shook his head, not sure what else they could do. "Maybe we could put out word we need a sound system guy. There's got to be one who's willing to donate a little time, right--"
He seriously didn't want to think about Peter in leather pants. "Whatever floats your boat, man. You're the one who's going to have to deal with the hardon all night."
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Some tears might be all right, especially during comfort states of a scene but nothing about this would be good for him. And still Simon couldn't help himself. He wanted to flaunt Peter. He wanted him on his arm. He wanted to show him off to his old friends.
"This is just hanging out. At the club. Nothing more." If Simon said it enough, it might be true. "But anyway, wasn't there a guy that strung up the lighting? Can't he help with stringing up the sound system? Petey said we're completely covered now with costs. Some of the guys already started on their dates too." Like Simon did last night. Two for one. It had been a lot of fun.
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He glanced towards the bus, then shrugged. "Sound systems aren't the same as lighting. I'll put out the word on Facebook or-- shit, better yet, the Kickstarter email thing. Someone'll come forward if we ask, I'm sure of it."
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JC was acting normal. Mellow. He wasn't glowing or beaming or spending any of his time glancing over. He couldn't understand their leader and that's part of why he followed him.
Sure. They could discuss the sound system now and the Kickstarter but relationships were more interesting to Simon. And Judas had the technically stuff already figured out. Why not pry?
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"Hey, just because you're open about talking about that shit doesn't mean I am. We talked about things and that's as much as you're knowing." He knew it would drive Simon right up the god damn wall and it was hysterical.
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Just being in Peter's room was going to do his head in. It wouldn't help that Judas could be right downstairs listening in. Especially because Simon was an exhibitionist. He'd never do anything about his own emotional state without a clear consent agreement in place of course.
"If you don't tell me, I'm just going to make it up in my head anyway. And judge you for my own perverted mind."
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He wasn't going to listen in. Last thing he wanted to know was the details. The nice thing about being in the basement was that it was mostly soundproofed from the rest of the house. "The best part is I know even your perverted mind won't do that to JC, because you know it isn't true and you respect him, so I'm feeling pretty confident."
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"What's the buzz, Petey? Feeling up to spending the rest of the day or should I just pick you up at ten? You mentioned maybe wanting an eye on your wardrobe. Could always go shopping and dinner?" Simon knew he was starting with control early but if this ended up working... And that was a big if... He wanted to be ready.
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"Dinner sounds great," he said happily, glancing down at his watch and thinking on the time. "Do you want to go now?" It was a bit early, but he had no idea how long shopping would take. It actually seemed kind of odd to go shopping for clothes with someone, but hey, if he wanted something neat to go clubbing in, why not take the best?
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Deciding that it was unlikely that Peter had anything appropriate, Simon took him to one of his favorite stores. Tight jeans, leather pants, mesh shirts-- he was going to have himself a little fashion show. Yes, it was at Peter's expense but it wasn't like he was hiding out and peeping. This was all on the up and up. And he would start to pepper the idea of just who he was into conversation after he greeted the shop girl with the pink undercut hair and dog collar. "Mindy, this is Pete. I'm taking him out tonight to the old stomping grounds. Pete, this is Mindy. She's one of my old colleague's subs. How's Mitch doing?"
"Master is just fine. He got a promotion. Are you going out tonight?"
"Yeah. Petey here needs something appropriate to wear," Simon smiled, fingering a leather glove display to test how supple the material was. Too girly for him, and mostly studded with rhinestones, he wasn't interested in their purchase. He was just displaying his ease around the store and with the conversation.
"Oh my god, is he your new boy?" Mindy looked excited but Simon shook his head.
"Pete's a friend. He's not in the community."
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Dawww Simon <3
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