Jesus Christ (
forallyoucare) wrote2017-01-10 12:08 pm
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JC wasn’t sure when the voices started. They popped up here or there in his childhood, usually egging him on to do something dangerous. His mum use to say that he was playing with an imaginary friend, but the voice was never a solid thing to run down to the corner shop with or to throw sticks in the river with when the other boys in the neighborhood thought he was too weird or creepy to hang around with. The voice never stuck around either so JC couldn’t exactly blame it. And he sounded mad when he did.
After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.
But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.
All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.
That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”
After a rather detrimental and insistent period in his teenage years, culminating in one very big adventure that nearly gave his parents a heart attack when the voice demanded that he go all the way to the city for a few days without telling anyone, it disappeared for a long, long time.
But that sweet, familiar persistence came back again one afternoon where they were just leaving a coffee house after a small after-concert rally with the Twelve, or while he was showing Andrew a cat video that one of their online supporters tweeted him, or when he was by himself in the woods looking up at the sun through the sky-- He didn’t know when it started but it was back again and it was itching at his skull like sand stuck behind his eyes.
All he knew was that they needed to start reaching more people. Facebook and Twitter were fine. Tumblr worked. The new Youtube channel seemed to be doing all right but the coffee shops in small towns around their home base? The venues were just too small. They needed to travel, together. All of them.
That’s when he went to Judas with his idea. Err…the voice’s idea. “What if we rented and RV and traveled? We could book gigs everywhere!”
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He was hurt, handling it badly, and he knew it.
But Judas had no idea and right now, with Simon showing him just how skilled he was, anyone else was a million miles from his mind. Both of his hands were gripping somewhere - the crunch of that hair gel, the back of his neck with the other - his head fallen back as he bit roughly into his own lip to keep from making some seriously embarrassing sounds. It had been way too fucking long since he'd gotten off and his body was reminding him whole heartedly right now. Simon had him and had him hard right now, but once he was recovered from it, he would fight back. He could give those similar low growls and leave his mark on Simon in turn, a challenge against the other as he gave a bit of a rough bite to a nipple perked by the air-conditioning, a hand dropping to wrap around leather and the skin beneath and squeeze.
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And that might have to do with the mirrored wall direction across from it. He made Judas watch him as he took his time thrusting into him. He got off more on watching Judas' face than he did on the feeling of being inside of him.
Second orgasm? Simon. On the couch. With his hand. And part of the couch. And his dick. Him. It was a complicated crime.
They took time to rehydrate, standing around the kitchen naked. Simon tried to get Judas to eat out of his palm but he figured that might be pushing it.
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"Fuck me," he muttered, shifting his weight. "Gonna be sore in the morning. There better be one giant shower hidden in all this luxury with a lot of hot water behind it." He rubbed his jaw, feeling the friction from the couch where his skin had been ground into the black leather.
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Eating grapes and waiting for the tub to fill, Simon sat on the edge of the bath and watched Judas. He never judged any of those marks, he never had to. Simon had his own, but they were hidden up his nose. It was a little kinder that way but his colds were no less telling.
"You ready to tell me about what crazy you and JC were into this time? Even you two don't make up thst fast." And if they had decided to try the dating thing, Judas wouldn't be here with him now. Probably.
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"I was... probably a lot more blunt with him than I usually am. I'm not going anywhere from him, and I hope maybe I got that into his head, but I was blunt about the fact that I'm a certain kind of guy. I like to drink and smoke and fuck... a whole lot of things we both know JC isn't into. I'm willing to give this dating thing a try, if he really wants that, but I'm not sure that is what he wants. I think he just wants to know I'm not going anywhere, I'm his. I've been his since the day he found me."
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They could still talk as they soaked, legs thrown over legs. Sometimes Simon wondered why he didn't do this more often. It was relaxing and the company was good. He just knew nothing would come of it.
He was starting to feel how lonely thst was.
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"That's just it. Maybe he's not, you know? Maybe he's... what's that whole thing? Asexual? I've never seen him have the slightest interest in anything but a cuddle but at the same time he's one of the touchiest guys I know." He held hands with everyone, hugged, hands on a shoulder... just always touching. It had bothered the fuck out of him at first, but in the years since, he'd gotten more than used to it. Didn't even think twice about it anymore.
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He let thick arms hang over the lip of the tub before bracing himself to crawl forward onto Judas, sitting down in his lap and on his own heels. "So. You're going to see if that's what he wants from you? Or if he's just afraid you're going to wander off?" He pushed some wet-ended dreds over Judas' shoulder, leaning in to kiss him. It was sweeter than Simon usually liked, his embrace less fleeting than usual. "Because that's cute... I just pictured him more with Peter doing that."
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He accepted the kiss, returned it, almost amused with the fact that Simon's hair was still oddly perfect. What did it even look like without five tons of hair product in it? However, that last comment? Made him laugh. "Are you nuts? Peter's always happy to be near him, but if he's looking for anyone to do that shit with, it's you. He's got it bad for you. JC probably can't even touch that."
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Because honestly. Peter was sort of the epitome of perfection. He had soft and unworked hands, his parents were rich and he came from a Liberal Arts college on a full scholarship.
"And if you're right... Shit. I'd ruin him. So that's not gonna happen."
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"Can't give me too much shit about JC if you can't take it about your personal puppy."
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But he did mind about being teased about Peter.
"Damn it. Now you're getting me hard just thinking about that. My puppy huh?" How was he so blind to see it? He was trained to know when someone wanted him and he exploited it. He just thought Peter was... Firstly, straight, maybe bi-curious. And secondly, leagues above him. "Fuck. Jude, I'm going to need you to get hard right now, put this condom on, and fuck the thought out of me before I do something stupid."
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"Heh, you really are deep into that stuff." He was heavily amused by the whole thing. "Not trying to be cruel, just point out the obvious." He could slide a hand down over Simon's backside and tease between his cheeks while watching him. "Maybe I should let you go be stupid, mm?" That was just teasing now (okay being a bit cruel) and he knew it.
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"Get my phone," Simon said, because people did and said stupid things when they were aroused. Said phone was in his pants and currently located wherever his pants happened to land. He wasn't sure.
Would he call Peter right now? Probably not. There was a condom with Judas' name on it between his teeth already and Simon let the foil flutter to the floor. It was rare he let someone do this but Judas had been a good sport so far and the Dom in Simon liked to reward his partners for a job well done. What better reward than a little bit of a balls deep thank you?
Tomorrow though? Well, he'd have to watch. He'd have to see if he could catch Peter looking his way and if he did, what those blue eyes told him about Pete's attraction.
And maybe they could talk about the things Simon liked. Or... Maybe not. Maybe he could try it normal first.
He hissed as he lowered himself onto Judas. The phone was forgotten for now. "I actually bought him coffee tonight," Simon murmured, letting Judas throb inside of him for a few moments before he moved. "Ah damn it. He'd really be such a good boy..."
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He arched his back and picked his hips up, then let gravity bring them both down. There might have been more than a bit of payback in mind for how hard Simon had taken him to show he could give it back in spades, bracing Simon's back eventually against the edge of the tub so that he could fuck the other hard.
The problem was that Peter was already heading out of town. It didn't take much for him to get towards a bus stop, staring down mindlessly at his phone, fighting back that stupid urge to cry again. Go back to college, forget about all of this even if it felt like the place he belonged. They could manage without him. The others knew how to deal with a computer and Judas had the login info. They would deal with out him. Simon certainly did.
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How could he be on the verge of losing one of his group already? Perhaps this Kickstarter had been a terrible idea. The jealousy it was unleashing seemed in poor taste to his message. Thad had been acting strange all night and kept bringing it up. James, who hadn't gotten a single pledge yet, was feeling sad. He'd even reacted to Judas. And Peter--
He only had a small idea about that and it felt wrong in his gut.
"Sit with me," he commented softly. "And talk with me. I just want to understand."
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He stared at the seat, then all at once was almost overcome by a huge wave of guilt. He looked away, taking a moment for himself by shoving his phone into his pocket, then like a scolded kid, ended up in the seat beside JC. What was he even supposed to say that didn't sound incredibly stupid? My heart decided I was in love with someone and they're sucking face with Judas in some club right now. Yeah, not about to say that out loud, especially when he knew something was going on with Judas and JC right now.
"...I learned tonight... sometimes following your heart only gets you hurt." It sounded even more stupid when he said it aloud, his head hanging.
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He's in love with Simon. The voice was clear as day, as if someone was whispering in his ear. And Simon, right now, is bathing with Judas.
It made JC flinch noticeably, glancing over Peter's shoulder as if there was someone standing there. He felt a strange mixture of emotion on that, which eventually subsided. Judas couldn't stray from the Twelve and from him if he was with Simon right now. He let himself breathe more easily and then hug Peter to his chest.
"I'm going to suggest something you won't like," he whispered into Peter's hair. "Before you decide if your heart is truly broken or just bruised, talk to him." It wasn't the first that JC had been prophetic.
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Until JC said that, making Peter freeze. It wasn't the first time, not by a long shot, but it was the first time that unerring sense of the truth was used on him. He choked a little on trying to find what to say, wanting to deny it because it was such a private topic, but... this was JC. He shared everything, usually. How could he feel weird about that?
"What's the point?" he whispered, hating that he could hear those threatening tears in his voice. His accent only became that much worse when he was upset. "Broken or bruised, he knows what he wants and it isn't me. How could I live with that every day, knowing that? It'll just... just get worse."
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Peter could never understand how important he was, even if JC explained it. And if he did, Peter would never believe him anyway.
"I will tell you one small secret about Simon Zealots, Peter. The thing he wants-- what he needs the most-- is someone who will stay with him. Every other person in his life is fleeting and for physical satisfaction. But that alone can not satisfy a man."
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JC's secret about Simon though... it did exactly what JC was hoping it would and started making Peter think about things on a new level. Was that really what Simon needed? He thought about what Simon had said, about wanting to prove he was something more... But Simon chose things to be like this, didn't he? Picked up people and did things with them... but what if Simon had chosen Judas to fill that spot?
He rubbed his face, sighing quietly. "Do you really think so?" he pulled back enough to meet JC's eyes, his own still so red-rimmed from crying.
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Which seemed silly for a man who just turned thirty to enjoy or brag about, but JC was an odd duck.
At Simon's place, the flat sitter was currently crawling around looking for Judas' ubderwear. He had no idea how close he'd been to losing someone that really mattered to him. Someone he tried to look out for and who evidently might have been thinking more of him than he ought to have been.
"You're sure you have on underwear...?"
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"Fuck, maybe I didn't...?" Judas scrubbed his face, trying to remember. Drinking and then multiple rounds of good sex meant his brain was verging on mush. "Don't worry about it. If you find it, you find it. Not like the first time I went commando." Might chafe a bit tonight, though.
He stretched out, the corset slung over his arm. Not going to bother with it now that he was heading back.
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Simon didn't bother to wait for an offer to come in, there was no need for that, and didn't bother to kiss Judas good night either. Again, that was somewhat pointless. Their time together was over. It had been nice but now it was done. He waved from the back of the bike and went home to sleep on his own bed.
Simon was use to partying and so he was up around nine without a hangover or a headache, hair a little more tamed and wearing glasses when he headed down to the garage. He had no idea where one of his contacts had gotten to after he pulled them out of his eyes and he was waiting on a replacement shipment. It meant that he was looking a little different than usual, though he hadn't traded in his leather jacket for a suede elbow blazer at least.
In a fairly good mood, he grabbed a few bags of bagels from his saddlebag and sauntered into the garage to see who else had arrived. He wasn't expecting Judas any time soon.
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Peter was where he usually was, working on his laptop nearby, but he had blue prints spread out around him and was researching places they could get what JC had designed. He had his chin propped up in his hand, brows pinched as he was intent on whatever he was doing.
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Dawww Simon <3
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