forallyoucare | (no subject)

At least they weren't coming to blows or a shoving match at the moment. That always got a little messy, especially when they were alone. Or mostly alone. JC shook his head sadly at Judas as he stood there, shirt miraculously unwrinkled despite all of the climbing around he'd done in Judas' bed. It was rare that JC didn't look pristine, though. He'd crawled around a bus in the middle of being demolished and still came out clean.

What Judas lacked, JC thought, was insight. There would always be a new cause. There would always be people in need of help. One should t just rush off to every new cause. Joining charities and specific nonprofits had overheads. It was t just about goods or money donations-- JC wasn't getting into that now, even if it directly pertained to the fight at present. Again. Judas was not capable of looking at the big picture.

The voice was loud in his head, but the words were jumbled and confusing and JC had no mind to try to untangle them. Instead, he tried to ignore the sounds, though they made it difficult to function. His head felt like it might explode, especially after he logged back into Kickstarter and removed his donation from under Judas' date pledge.

"There. Done. Have fun hanging out with someone that isn't one of us for a change," he snapped, feeling dizzy. He had to brace himself on the wall as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Good luck," he muttered, and went to leave. He'd be slamming the door behind him.

"Stop acting like a child!" Judas growled, seeing a flash of red go through his vision. That was exactly what JC was acting like right now - a spoiled child who wasn't getting his way. Fuck, he was getting his way just not in the exact way he wanted! How could someone like JC, who Judas thought was a brilliant, caring man who had the power to change the lives of everyone he touched, so completely blind to the bigger picture sometimes!?

He didn't even flinch at the slamming door, just glared daggers at it until he was sure JC was away, then threw himself back into bed. It wasn't like he was going to sleep or anything even though he made an attempt at it, instead his mind kept going over the minutes before their fight. Why was JC acting so suddenly jealous? Had he always been jealous but because Judas hadn't bothered with the dating scene he hadn't seen it until now? What right did JC have to act jealous, anyway? He'd offered a lot to JC when things first started that JC hadn't taken, there hadn't been any active talk or signs since... fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. He hated this.

He glared into the darkness of his room, a scowl etched onto his features.

Peter sighed, shifting his weight to put his forehead on his knees. Hated when they fought and they could really get into it when they fought. How long until things smoothed over this time?

There was too much passion for Judas and JC to really stay in a fight for too long, so Peter wouldn't have to worry after awhile. Of course, he probably also wasn't expecting JC to arrive at his door, knocking lightly and asking to be let in.

Once Peter opened up for him, JC settled onto the chair at the desk, looking a little put out. And maybe a little more than just pouty. He frowned for awhile and then tilted his head to the right.

"Do you think you can put me up there? Just one. For whatever you think is fair?" The voice was still pounding his skull and so JC spoke softly, as if he could barely manage more.

No, Peter definitely wasn't expecting that. Still, he wasn't about to say no, even if it was a bit awkward, and refolded himself onto his bed as he watched their leader. It really was a lot like listening to his mother and father shout at each other, not that it had happened a lot when he lived there, but still. He had just been about to say something when JC spoke up.

Put me up there? It took Peter a few moments to put two and two together and barely held back a wince. Oh because that didn't make things even more awkward. "S-Sure," he said after a moment or two, trying to figure out what it would even be worth. "Um, let's see, everyone else is up for a hundred but it seems like you sure be more, right? Maybe two hundred?"

"Two-- Peter no. I'm no different from you or any of the others. I just want to help out and since most of the guys are doing it, I should too. I don't want it to be too prohibitive." He was already halfway against taking money for private teaching sessions. He didn't want to put some poor fan out.

Of course, JC had no idea that he would be popular enough to have his pledge bought up in less than five minutes by a woman named Mary. when Peter told him that, JC actually laughed.

"Not my mum, I hope?" Wouldn't that be hilarious? Or maybe a little sad. He didn't expect his mom to know what Kickstarter was though. He was probably safe.

"I don't think so!" Peter said, giving a little laugh at how quickly it was picked up. "It's almost like someone was waiting for your date to show up here." He didn't know about the whole thing of JC taking Judas' date, so he frowned slightly. "Huh. Looks like Judas'-" he stopped though, thinking about it, then decided not to mention that Judas' date had been 'returned'.

"Well, JC, you've got yourself a date! Do you want me to email her back for you? Set up a time and date?" Peter was trying to be helpful, make things go back to normal in the awkward aftermath of the fight.

JC left Peter and the house a few of the Twelve shared together half an hour later, after the email had been sent. He wasn't feeling that great in all honesty, his head was still exploding, but what could he do? Judas had rejected him, though that in itself didn't hurt as badly as their fight had.

The dim cacophony of cursing in his head led JC back to his own bed. He would not be at the garage that day.

And that was why Simon made his way over to a troubled looking Peter just before lunch. All of his dates had been bought and so had two of Peter's but that wasn't what made him curious for some information.

"You look glum." Judas was insufferable. JC wasn't there. "Mom and dad fighting? What about?"

Judas would have growled that JC hadn't been rejected at all. If JC had come and talked to him like a normal human being, things could have... happened. It would have surprised him, they would have had to figure some things out, but it probably would have happened. Fun, cautious, learning. Instead, JC decided to act like a jealous dick. Oh yeah, he was still mad.

Peter was taking a break - he wasn't use to the kind of work he'd been doing for the last day and a half as he helped clear out the mess on the bus so they could start the interior - and had the laptop sitting open on his lap when Simon came over. At the comment about "mom and dad", Peter groaned, letting his head hang. "I don't know exactly, something Judas did or didn't do? I didn't listen in too closely but they're really angry at each other." He looked to his best friend among the Twelve, upset showing in the pinch of his brow.

"I hate when they fight."

"It's how they best communicate," Simon said, arm around Peter's slight shoulders as he leaned in to mess with the site he was on. "If they don't threaten each other with excommunication from friendship every so often, they'll be too happy. Happy people don't get anything done, Pete. You have to be uncomfortable and dissatisfied to really evoke a change."

He frowned a little at the number at the top of the collection page and let his hand fall from the track pad into his lap.

"Fuck. That's not a real number," he muttered. "How do we have-- we don't even have that many Twitter followers. Did each one donate ten bucks? Fuuuuuuck. Uh. Wow. Okay. For that amount, I'm putting out on all of my dates!"

CHOKE! Peter ended up choking on Simon's last words, and unfortunately he was one of those people who had the problem of flushing very bright red when embarrassed so now he was a tomato, staring pointedly down at the laptop instead of Simon. Two friends who couldn't be more different if they tried. "Uh, you, uh, do what you think you need to," he finally said, swallowing down before licking his lips. Maybe he should have bought one of Simon's dates-

"It's incredible. We don't have this many Twitter followers... I have no idea where it's all coming from! There's a lot of sharing going on on Facebook, though? It's a miracle." He was convinced it had to be.

Simon laughed, both at Peter's face and the shine to his eyes. He wasn't an idiot. He knew Peter watched him from time to time, but he was just a kid. He didn't know what he wanted. He was fresh from school, a gap year to travel the world and experience it.

Simon wasn't going to corrupt someone so pure. He had his standards.

"What about you, Petey? Sharing the wealth? Or are you just gonna charm em with your accent and huge eyes for bigger donations?"

It really was a miracle, though. They had been fully funding in less than a day.

As far as Peter was concerned, Simon was incredible. A strong body and soul and attitude in a small package, more knowledgable about the world and three times the strength. He didn't want to be seen as pure, that felt incredibly stupid and embarrassing to what ego he had, even if it was kind of true. Sure, he hadn't gotten much further than second base with someone, but it didn't matter. Okay, so maybe he had more than a bit of a crush on Simon who was so very out of his league.

Aaaaand that blush deepened as Peter shook his head several times. "N-No. I- I mean, maybe? I don't know!" Simon was so damn sure about everything while Peter was only certain about three things - one, that he was glad he had decided to travel the world, two, Simon was incredible, and three, as incredible as Simon was, JC was even more so and worthy of following til the ends of the Earth because he wanted to do something right. Anything else... Peter had no solid idea on. Maybe it was why he saw Simon as strong.

"If I had a hundred bucks, I'd take your last slot," Simon grinned and leaned forward to muss up his hair. He had no idea that he was leaving poor Peter with some heart ache and food for thought as Simon jumped up the stairs into the bus where Matt was wildly swinging the sledge hammer. "Woah! Yo Matty! Not everything needs to go man!"

He patted his shoulder and grabbed the tool from him before shooing him out. Maybe he just wanted a place to smoke where it was quiet. Maybe he wanted to head back to the bunks where Judas Iscariot was hiding.

Simon lit up and sauntered over to one of the curtained cubbies and lightly knocked on the frame. "Hey. Shove over. I got a joint and a handjob if you want some fun or an ear if you wanna listen?"

Simon certainly left Peter sitting there with so much more to think about, staring blankly at the computer screen without really seeing it before groaning and dropping his head into his hands. Why did he have to have a crush on someone so out of his league? Why? "What am I supposed to do?"

The scent of that joint beat Simon in and Judas just grunted, shifting over but his mood was shit. He was miserable and sitting with his phone in hand, ear buds in, listening to a report on a back ass website about the kickstarter with his familiar notebook in his lap. "The joint, yes," he called over, popping out one ear bud. He stretched out a leg, looking like he hadn't really slept with the bags growing under his eyes not helped by smudged makeup.

"You're surprisingly cheerful today," he remarked with a hint of sarcasm, given that Simon ranged from decent to an asshole on most days.

"And you're surprisingly... Did you use today?" He had to ask. There wasn't anyone else here who understood that about Judas or how badly it could be for him to relapse. JC was forgiving and the other guys would absolutely be there for him, but only Simon understood what addiction was like. "Or are you mad that JC got a pledge and you haven't yet?"

So much for being cheerful huh, Judas? Simon didn't like being liked. He wanted to ruffle feathers. He wanted to make his mark even if that was all done up in scars.

It was his nature.

"I'm hoping for the second because I am not holding your hair back as you puke again."

"No." That earned Simon a hard look briefly but he sighed a moment later. "No." That was never going to happen again, never. He'd given up the hard stuff when JC had come into his life. Still, he let out a slow breath and admitted, "this is one of those times I almost miss it." There was no one outside of Simon he would have admitted that to.

That joint, on the other hand, was free game. He put up his hand and cocked a finger. "That? Give it here." Damn if he didn't need it badly. "What's going on out there?"

"Doesn't matter what's going on out that. We're in here," Simon pointed out, draping one leg over Judas'. He was trying his best not let Judas leave right now when someone had to talk to him. Ginger dreds over here was a silly thing with communication issues. "Peter is lamenting on if he should put out for his dates, Matt is trying to kill us all with a sledgehammer. JC isn't here."

He took the joint back and sucked in a cloud of fragrant smoke.

"What's wrong with you two? Stop fighting. You're freaking us out, man." He scooted forward to drape his other leg over Judas too. His smirk was telling. "Pony up, Judy." He'd dig his heel against Judas' thigh until he spoke. That was the alternative.

Judas snorted at the comment about Peter, muttering about how there was no way that pristine kid was going to put out on his dates, when that boot started digging into his heel. His eyes flashed and he grabbed Simon's ankle, pulling up on it and digging his thumbnail hard into the other's ankle. "Damn it, you're an asshole," he muttered before he shook his head. "What do you want me to say? He got pissy because he evidently wanted something more out of me - something he'd never said a damn thing about until this morning - and I was surprised, so he took that like I was rejecting him. It's so damn stupid. He's being a blind bastard about the whole thing." He rolled his eyes.

Simon pulled his hand back through his hair, the spray already coming loose from an afternoon of work. It was a good thing he kept a can in his bag. He was going to need a touch up. "You know he's like... Seriously, he's the most asexual person in the entire world. Are you sure he--" Simon was just flabbergasted. "-- What did he say to you? I mean, you've been totally into him for awhile now but he's-- Judas, he's kinda... We all love him. And he loves all of us. But. Platonically."

Simon handed back his joint to Judas and patted him on the knee before he slipped out of the bunk.

"Just don't be pissed off man. And if he is into you? Shit. You're an idiot for making him want to change his mind. Have you seen his abs? Dude."

Fuck he needed this joint just to listen to Simon right now. He held his breath, listening to that babbling, rolling his eyes near the end of it. Nothing was said until he let the smoke leak out around his lips, giving Simon a hard look. "He came right out and said he didn't want me with anyone else. Hard to take that any other way, given that he hasn't said that to any of you." He gestured meaningfully towards Simon.

"Of course I love him, but what the fuck do you want me to do? I'm not about to be as asexual as him for the rest of my life. I'm not trying to change his mind about anything because fuck he only just told me his mind this morning and got angry about it in the process!" Why was Simon giving him such shit for this!? "It's not his right to tell me I can't be with anyone else, either. It's as if tomorrow Thad suddenly told Peter that he was his. None of us would be expecting that shit, either, right?"

"Uh. Well. Thad is straight. And Peter with anyone is just weird," Simon wanted to point out. He enjoyed his little fantasies about Peter but he'd never go there. His hands were dirty. Pete was too pure to mess up with that.

He'd been planning on leaving Judas to his thoughts at the moment but this was sort of a big deal. He sat at the bunk across from Judas and leaned forward, elbows to his knees.

"He told you he doesn't want you to be with anyone else? Seriously? Wow. What's gotten into him? I don't think he's ever even touched anyone that wasn't hand holding, yanno? What are you gonna do? Ignore it? Or like... Go for it? Shit. What if it doesn't work out? What will we do without you guys?"

He offered the joint back, but he did give Simon a questioning look. "You know what I mean - it'd be out of left field. Besides, Peter's gonna end up with someone one of these days. Probably some pretty girl who he can go have some pretty kids with or some twink like himself. Not sure which way he flies." He took a moment to rub his eyes, then shrugged.

"I have no idea what's gotten into him. He's still throwing a pissy fit about the whole thing if he's not out there, but I'll go find him eventually." He tapped his notebook in his lap. "Almost done with the budget, but... this Kickstarter shit's been interesting to figure out just what we can do with the bus and what's going where, you know?"

A lick of his lips, tasting smoke on them. "Going to find out what is going on in that brain of his and I'll get back to you on the rest. I'm not going to let this break things up."

"Good. Because nothing ruins friendship like fucking can. And I don't want to see either of you hurt," Simon said before Judas left the bus. He pulled himself out of the bunk and went to watch Peter from the window. Some pretty or a twink-- Simon was neither. But Judas was right. Pete deserved something good in life. He was too much of a fuck up to even try.

JC was not having a good day to say the least. The voice was being completely unreasonable, following him home to torment him the entire way with doubt and despair. He had crawled under his covers and hidden there like a child until Judas came by. Mary greeted her son's best friend with worry in her eyes. "He hasn't behaved this way since he was younger," she confided in Judas. "I hope you two haven't been fighting."

Like any good Jewish boy, JC was praying away his troubles when Mary told Judas where he was hiding and asked him to help her son out of his slump.

Kneeling at his bed, he was murmuring something or other, hands folded, when Judas came to the door. "Please... I'm trying so hard. I'm trying to make this work. I just don't know how..."

It wasn't fair for everyone else to decide what Peter deserved or not. He knew what he wanted, but didn't have the courage to go for. Simon definitely seemed to have any type but him, and why not? Peter closed the laptop and went back to work, squinting up against the sun. Doing all this work in the brutal heat was rough and even through sunscreen the pale Peter was starting to get a burn.

That's because you don't see him as much anymore, Judas thought when Mary mentioned about how JC was acting, not unkindly but truthfully. He'd seen JC act like this plenty of times. Throw a hissy fit, go to sulk for a while, come back when he was ready or more so when Judas apologized. He gave Mary a small smile, the kind that said he'd handle it, before he went to JC's door and knocked. Hopefully JC wasn't still in the angry phase and would yell where his mother could hear it.

The angry phase was always better than the sad phase, though JC had the worst habit of looking entirely too lovely when he was upset. The voice had stopped tormenting him the moment that the knock came and tears of exquisite relief slid down his cheeks as he stood up and pulled on the handle of the door.

His body sagged just a little as he gazed up at Judas, eyebrow knitting together. "I'm sorry." He never minded apologising when he had been at least partially in the wrong. Fighting with Judas wasn't fun in the slightest. He let his head now, hands clasping each other against his chest. "You were right. I was acting with jealousy. I-- I will do better." He knew his win, however small, needed to be attoned for. It would take more than forgiveness to wash him clean.